i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
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woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
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He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
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Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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