So drunk its hurt
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Someone came in the potted fern
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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