its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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