I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Someone signed my nipple.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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