So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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