I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The best revenge is premature balding
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
