so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
