We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
