Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
