I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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