Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
