I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
