She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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