I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
