she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wanna passion pit in your ass
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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