How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
