Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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