she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
