is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
