she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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