that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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