Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
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You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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