we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
