Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
