I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
