rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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