She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
