doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
