There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
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