got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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