Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
this is an emotional support booty call
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
