We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
