He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
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he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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