We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
