yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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