So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
