Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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