We won't sleep together?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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