come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We have started to decorate penises.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
