my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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