There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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