fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
