too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
