I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Sober January is a disaster.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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