How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
