Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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