Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
