sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We need to rekindle our bromance
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Randomize
