I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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