i just identified you from a description of your pipe
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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