Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We are all done wearing pants today
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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