i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
How's work?
Spinning.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
