i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
