Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
