drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
