that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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