Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I want to fling myself into the sun
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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