Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
