We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
