Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
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My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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