i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery