I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
