just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
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I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
