first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator