In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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