The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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