I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
