My liver just broke up with me...
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
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