My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
